Nan's Bites from the Block: Halfway down

Halfway down the stairs
is a stair
where i sit.
there isn't any
other stair
quite like
it.
i'm not at the bottom,
i'm not at the top;
so this is the stair
where
I always
stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up
And it isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery,
It isn't in town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head.
It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!
******************************************
I grew up in a family rich in traditions. Consequently, when we started our family, it was important to me to combine old traditions with some new ones. Many of my family's traditions centered around a holiday. I remember that on Christmas morning my brothers, sister and I would line up to go in to see the Christmas tree; because I am the baby they let me be first in line. Yet another perk of being the baby. Since there is only Sarah & Mikey to see the tree on Christmas morning, we have them stand side by side.

My favorite new tradition is one that we started soon after that new house (Mom & Daddy's) was built. Every Christmas Ellen took pictures of the four of us sitting on the stairs in Mom & Daddy's house. I could say that the pictures from the early years are the best but that would be a lie. They are all great: They always make me smile and laugh, and sometime cry because although I love every minute of my life right now, I miss those days. Really priceless. Check out the expressions on Sarah and Mikey's faces: you will see such tired babies who've had too much Christmas. In the early years our clothing was color coordinated for Christmas, sometimes with all of us wearing turtlenecks. These days, it's always a surprise. It's so funny because in the end, the best pictures are the spontaneous ones.

I don't remember for sure that we've done it all 18 years. I thought about going through the photo albums but decided against it. I know myself well. If I started searching and found that I missed a year, I would kick myself the next ten years for forgetting. I can't let go of this feeling that I need to be the perfect mother. Much like Rachel wanting Emma's first birthday to be perfect even though babies that age won't remember. All parents want their kids' childhood to be perfect.

I decided rather than looking to see if we had managed to catch all eighteen years, I checked to see if we had done the first year. I got that one right! I went to the album for 1992 and there it was.

Don, Nan, Sarah & Mikey - Christmas 1992

Finding that I managed to capture the first Christmas in the new house is good enough for me. It doesn't matter anymore that we probably didn't get it done every year. All that matters is that we have this great Christmas tradition that we're still doing, sometimes with a twist like we did last Christmas.