Lately, although I've had a to-do list, I haven't been inspired to start anything. If I had to guess, I would say that it's a reaction to Sarah moving out and Michael leaving for college mid-August. It's my subconscious hoping that somehow I can prevent my babies from flying the coup, or at the very least, delay it. I am well aware that I am insane; I just needed the last month and a half of summer to face and accept.
Therefore "Acceptance" is my current stage. With acceptance I am getting my much needed inspiration. I learned that I don't have to hang around the house (all day long) because I want to be here if Sarah comes by or Mikey is here chillin'; moments seem to happen on their own. I see Sarah more now than I did when she lived here; not sure why, but it is. As social as Michael is, he's also been around more than I expected.
I am sure that I've said before: it's not that I'm not looking forward to this new stage. It's the "letting go" of the past five years. The high school years have been mostly without drama. We have been blessed. I believe that it made a difference that Sarah and Michael knew that we genuinely meant it when we said that they could come to us with anything, that they could trust us. While there were moments when conversation was intermittent, we always got back to our good talks; communication was always good.
It is the warm feelings from those years that has given me new energy and the inspiration to get moving on a new project: redoing the fifth bedroom. Yesterday, I painted almost the entire room; only a tiny spot behind the marble-top dresser remains. It feels good.
What inspire me this weekend is the excitement I have for Sarah's and Michaels's new beginnings and, thanks to them I have a new beginning as well.
Do you ever think about what inspires you?
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