Mama

Were she alive today, this would be my mama's 89th birthday.  Her birthday was always a special day to me.  I remember being so excited as a young girl because it was her special day.  Thinking about it in the present, I wonder if she was as excited as I was.  In my relationship with her at least, she was selfless; so it's tough for me to imagine that it was a big deal to her.  How could you not be excited about your own birthday?

I miss her more than I ever thought possible, and in fact more, the older I get.  I think about her often.  She's been my role model as a mother and, I have tried to emulate her although not always successfully, in my role as a wife.  I am not blowing smoke when I say that she was a good person who was loved not only by her family, but by people whose lives she touched along the way.  It's not unusual for old friends who came through our home (when I was growing up) to comment to me that she always made them feel special.

I'm not saying she was perfect; she was the first to admit her weaknesses, which few people do. What I'm trying to say is that the good in my mother far outweighed the bad, so my memories of her make me smile.

Sarah and Mikey could not have had a more perfect grandmother; just as with her own children, she would have given her life for them.  By the time I was inclined to have children, she had gracefully given up on any idea of having grandchildren, but, true to her nature, she embraced the idea.  She may not have been as "mobile" a grandmother as some, but that only served to make her better.  They always had her undivided attention, which I am told is not always the case with grandmothers who often care more about their own lives.  She loved them unconditionally and they returned the love.  I can still hear their voices when we walked in the door here, "Nannie!" They were always happy to see her, and she them.

If I have any regrets, it's that she didn't live long enough to see their accomplishments.  It was she, as well as Daddy, who observed and remarked how bright they were, not me.  (In my defense, I'm a ditz.)  Prophetic she was, because virtually everything she said came true.

I could say so much more that was good about her; but instead I will say, "Happy birthday mama.  I hope that wherever you and Daddy are, that you are not still letting him get away with that foolish Happy Pearl Harbor day business."  I know you though, so I know that you are....

Happy birthday Mama.  I hope your day was full of rainbows and fun.  I love you always.